Sunday, 9 August 2009

The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

Some readers of snuffboxfilms may be wondering why I've been missing in action lately, this is mainly due to a sinking depression lately which has resulted in using my spare time to try and sleep it off or going round and round my mental carrousel of thoughts like a Hamster of the mind. Depressions are always like this for me and I have to summon what faculties I have intact just to get by and do the things I have to do but unfortunately other things wane into a clustering stink of compost whilst I figure out where I misplaced my plot. The grasp is always greener on the other side of one's sense.

However, chin up, I got my fingers out of my pockets and wrote off a script for Saturday's shoot BMXXX Bandildos, a video vignette for The Killer Luchador film by Lez Morris and James Jackson. The script was based on Alfred Jarry's short fiction The Passion as an Uphill Bicycle Race. I wanted to use his idea in combination with Freud's theories on Eros and Thanatos but instead I wrote from the Roman mythological angle of Faunus and Mors because of the Passion setting, and this also translated into something more appropriate to the hedonistic philosophy of that period and so suited Jarry's style. It was a challenging adaptation mainly because I felt I had to compliment Alfred's absurdity but that proved to be more apt because the video vignette is a softcore b-grade blue movie.

The day of shooting went very well considering I had to hurdle over about six weeks of depression in order to get with the program. I guess this just happens this way, but this one has been a lingering sticky one, which I loathe because it is very difficult to become unstuck. Although it isn't to say I don't muster the "save face" attitude to get me by but it is very exhausting at times and I am particularly feeling it at the moment.

However, I am sure that BMXXX Bandildos will be a bit of a laugh, and the chilly Melbourne weather not too much of a knot to unkink in the final edit.


Anonymous said...

keep well and most importantly keep making things!


Anonymous said...

Hey Rupert,

Chin up buttercup! I know what its like, leaves your feeling so empty and shit, but sometimes out of the dark times comes true creativity.

hugs kisses and love to you from
Anna B

Rups said...

Thanks Clint and Anna,

Yes, creatively something has to give :)

It's really just life wear and tear, and I'd rather be sitting in a small hut by a river somewhere smoking my pipe and fishing then sorting out the filing cabinets of my mind :)

Feed me, Seymour!

I like to watch



Creative Commons License
snuffboxfilms by rups is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 2.5 Australia License.
Based on written and pictorial posts at

Further reading ...

ping rss